Tuesday, October 20, 2009

New Project 2

"Don't be angry at me. I can't keep up, but don't be mad at me about it. It's not my fault, it's just the way I am. I can't help it. The world is made up of people like me, people who can't keep up no matter what they do and people who wear the wrong necklace but won't change it because the chains are blowing on the hangars and most of all, people who hide under the beds because they're afraid to poke their heads out or they're too afraid to get out of bed even to get under it or turn on the light because whatever it is that's out there is just to scary even to get out so they'd rather lay there with the covers up over their heads until they suffocate but don't hold that against me, it's just not my fault!"

She stood there, hyperventilating, and stamped her foot again. "Don't blame me, I can't help it, I can't, if the light is out somewhere and it makes monsters on the ceiling! I can't, I can't, I can't, I tell you!

"There are so many layers of fear in this onion we inhabit and when you pick one layer off, there's another layer, ready to stink up on you and send you right back to whatever misery you were trying to escape, right back there!

"Besides, my bed smells funny. That's why I don't want to be in it, that's why I don't want to sleep anymore ever. So can I come with you, while you look for whatever it is you're looking for? I'm not brave at all. I'm afraid of everything. I'm even afraid of the sparks from the telly, but anywhere, anytime has to be better than here.

"I'll trade it. I'll trade it for a new fear, I will. Yes, I know I've lived with these fears for years, for my whole life even, they're really old friends, familiar fears, but they're getting worse. They're trying to climb in now, at night, and I'm too scared to shut the window so I guess it might be time to trade them in for a new fear.

"Please take me along. Please. I won't be any bother. Please.

"Don't leave me!

"Don't leave me!

"Don't leave me! Don't, don't, don't..."

"Alright then, fine, you can come along, but you must be quiet. We're on mission."

"Until we find Ekaterina? Until we find out what happened and why?"

"We don't talk or sing or name names at all. We don't laugh, either. If you can deal with that, fine, come along. I'm not going to leave you with the tree shadows, not when you're like this."

"They turn into things, into snakes and binders and things. Don't make fun of me."

"I'm not cruel. I said you could come. Okay, maybe a little cruel, but not much. Oh damn, that's why your bed stinks! You pissed yourself! Damn! You didn't even get up for that?"

"Too scared. And that's not true, I never wet my bed, not since I was a kid."

"Look at your legs."


"Your problem, not mine, except you can't get in my car like that. Come on, change up."

"I'll be fast. Thank you."

"Don't thank me. I don't know where we're going."

"Anywhere is better than here."

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