At 105
degrees, the body shuts down.
The blood
has boiled away, leaving skin tight to sinew,
Oxygen
starved muscles and bones.
Mine boiled
away long before that,
Mine boiled
away on the long trip here, seeking a wet savior
Every
movement frantic, every movement slower to stop.
The
pointless journey of self flagellation that put my heart
Through a
meat grinder leaving a pile of scarlet mixed
With pieces
that do not pass FDA approval.
I stand in
judgment, fun house mirrors of me,
As jury,
defendant, prosecutor and gavel pounding judge.
Order in the
court.
The folded
note, passed from trembling hand to trembling fingers,
Held by me,
for me, waiting to be opened and read
Suicide by
proxy, running into a hail of bullets,
Jetes and
plies punctuate a full split on the floor and
An arabesque
.
Overpriced
macchiato that I won’t drink provides a shield,
I will watch
and I will wait and I will fall and I will fail
To reach any
conclusion except I am lost.
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