Teshuvah, Tefilla, Tzedakah

Ashamnuh:

Once, if I were honest, more than once, much more,

I wish I still lived alone

Just me, my pens, my books

And the ducks, murmuring under the street lamp.

Train whistles,

Who’s ready? Who’s willing? Who’s able?

            All Aboard!

Bagadnu, gazalnu ,dibarnu dofi:

But I do not live alone.

Other people, things, inhabit this temporary home,

            of bodies and offal

            On the search for real

I, responsible for detritus, distracted and rerouted

by not alone. Home is a vial of ash.

Heevinu, v'hirshanu:

In my heart, I am always alone.

Zadnu:

Midnight.  I feed the ducks, throwing stale bread upon the water.

At sunrise, they sit on the edge of the eave and

Stare through the pane.

I am afraid that they, hungry, will break the glass.

Hamasnu:

I am a walking suicide.

Tafalnu sheker:

I am more alone than I am with

More surprised when not surprised by the shadows of others

As they talk in the galleries

And I make tea and sandwiches

And salt the buttered bread

Memory of the dead and nearly dead and might as well be dead and draped mirrors

Playacting that I connect with those I serve.

Rashanu, shichatnu,Tiavnu, tainu, titanu:

The conductor holds the door, impatient,

Calling me night after night.

All aboard, where’s your ticket,

Reading numbers inked on the inside of my forearm.

The ducks sing Adonai dayan ha-emet

And then I hear nothing.

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Teshuvah, Tefilla and Tzedakah[Ma’avreen et roa ha’gezeirah]

Repentence, Prayer and Charity Temper Judgement’s Severe Decree

Adonai dayan ha-emet: God is the True judge

Baruch atah Adonai, elohainu melach Haolem, dayan ha-emet.

The Hebrew blessing on hearing of a death :

Blessed is the Eternal One, Ruler of the Universe, the True Judge.

Ashamnu-we have tresspassed

Bagadnu- we have dealt treaturously

gazalnu-we have robbed

Dibarnu dofi- we have spoken slander

heevinu- we have acted perversly

v'hirshanu-we have done wrong

zadnu- we have acted presumptuously

hamasnu- we have done violence

tafalnu sheker- we have practiced deceit

rashanu- we have acted wickedly

shichatnu- we have dealt corruptly

tiavnu-we have committed abomination

tainu- we have gone astray

titanu- we have led others astray