Adonai Dayam Ha-Emet - final version

Adonai Dayan ha-Emet          

God is the One True Judge                            

Aveinu Malkeinu,                                                                 [Our Father, Our King]

Once, if I were honest, more than once, much more,

I wish I still lived alone

Just me, my pens, my books

And the ducks, murmuring under the street lamp.

Train whistles,

Who’s ready? Who’s willing? Who’s able?

            All Aboard!

Aveinu Malkeinu, Chaneinu V'aneinu                             [Our Father, Our King,

But I do not live alone.                                                       Be gracious and answer us]

Other people, things, inhabit this temporary home,

            Of bodies and offal

            On the search for real

I, responsible for detritus, distracted and rerouted

By not alone. Home is a vial of ash.

Ki ein banu ma'asim.                                                                   [For we have little merit]

In my heart, I am always alone.

Ase imanu,                                                                                     [Treat us with kindness]

Midnight.  I feed the ducks, throwing stale bread upon the water.

At sunrise, they sit on the edge of the eave and

Stare through the pane.

I am afraid that they, hungry, will break the glass.

Tzedakah vachesed,                                                                    [And be our help]

I am a walking suicide.

Ase imanu, tzedakah vachesed,                                                [Treat us with kindness,

I am more alone than I am with,                                                 And be our help]

More surprised when not surprised by the shadows of others

As they talk in the galleries

And I make tea and sandwiches

And salt the buttered bread

Memory of the dead and nearly dead and

Might as well be dead and draped mirrors

Playacting that I connect with those I serve.

Vehoshiyeinu.                                                                               [And save our people]

The conductor holds the door, impatient,

Calling me night after night.

All aboard! Where’s your ticket,

Reading the numbers inked

on the inside of my forearm.

The ducks sing Adonai dayan ha-emet                                   [God is the True Judge]

And then I hear nothing.

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Adonai dayan ha-emet: God is the True judge

Baruch atah Adonai, elohainu melach Haolem, dayan ha-emet.

The Hebrew blessing on hearing of a death :

Blessed is the Eternal One, Ruler of the Universe, the True Judge.

From the High Holy Day Services, a Prayer for Forgiveness

Aveinu Malkeinu,                                Our Father, our King,
Chaneinu V'aneinu,                             Be Gracious and Answer us
ki ein banu ma'asim.                          For we have little merit.
Ase imanu tzedakah vachesed,           Treat us with kindness, be our help
vehoshiyeinu.                                     And save our people.

Aveinu Malcheinu, be gracious and answer us, for we have little merit.

Treat us generously and with kindness, and be our help.