Choices

You ask me why when where they have gone.
I sent them away.
Far away.
It was them
or
it was me.
I chose me.

You make your own choice.

You can do anything
you will do anything
to please me
to maintain the status quo
but
it is not enough.

It has to be because you want to
in and of yourself.
For you.

I will not be resented.
I will not be the boundary setter.
I will not be the push-come-to-shove.
I am too proud.
Or perhaps,
not proud enough.

Roll up my whip, hang it on the nail.
Walk away.
The dead horse?
It will rot
in sunshine and in rain.
I'll not beat it anymore.

Barn door open,
one step into the blinding light.
My eyes will adjust.
Tears absorb the glare.
When they stop, soon,
they'll stop soon,
yes, they will,
world is washed clean.

Moonlight soft
I'll have new eyes.
Breathe in night air.
Clean my lungs.
Drink it.
Clean my insides.
I'll be new.
All of me.