Lights on Broadway

Half awake, I feel
your hand resting on me.
Turn, watch your eyes open,
open but still asleep,
inches from my own
and kiss you.

Cannot sleep
never seem to sleep
Lights from outside
flickering computer screen
cellphone
digital clock
all the electronic distractions
remind me
how alone I am.

You block the lights.
If I am still alone
with you, here, now
at least I do not feel so cold.

But I can feel it,
that metallic tang of ending.
The seeping cold.
Don't know when or why
but its hands are on my throat.

Make it stop.
I can see the valley, not the apex,
when I open my eyes.
Going downhill so much faster
than going up.
End will be here
too soon not soon enough.

You will end it with
histrionics, flames, broken crockery.
While I? I will let it die with
a whimper, sideways glance, silence.
Petty hurts piled up. Ego. Trivia.
It slowly ebbs away

Moon pulls up crashing tides.
White caps in the narrow loch
Slow disappearance of a river,
dammed and damned again.