i wrote this a few months ago, never posted it. lately i have been writing things of too intimate or controversial a nature for me to post. so, dear readers, feel free to make comments on the veracity or falsehood of any statements you find below.
in honor of my birthday.....
my favorite color is purple. especially dark purple.
i have NEVER lied about my age. yeah, i know. 49 DOES sound like a lie but its not. i look forward to when i turn 50. 50 sounds real.
i carry my passport at all times.
i believe in sparkling lights and fireworks.
i ride a 21 speed bike but have no idea how to shift. Or why.
i am addicted to motorcycles and LOVE to ride shotgun.
I live behind a kawaskai dealership. coincidence? i don't think so!
when i have the spare time and cash, i AM going to get my motorcycle certs.
my three favorite evening dresses were bought in 1977, 1980 and 1986. black knit, gold/black crystal pleats, black suede. and they still fit.
the SHOES are real and go with each of my three favorite evening dresses, but they knew that before i brought them home.
i cry when i listen to music.
people cry when they hear me sing.
i am a terrible card player, but a very cheerful loser.
my favorite perfume is STILL obsession. for men and women both.
i have my first diary. it scared my girls when they read it,to see how screwed up their mom was at the age of 12 or 13. hasn't changed much, unfortunately.
i have aural ADD and can't process verbally transmitted instructions.
i have OCD and HATE IT when i have to shake hands. or when people breath near me. or touch my arm or shoulder or pat my head or try to give me polite kisses. or maybe its just that i'm from new york. i carry antibacterial waterless hand cleaner.
i wasn't given any painkillers when i birthed my girls. NOT EVEN A FUCKING TYLENOL. not even for my breech birth baby, who is STILL telling the world to "kiss her ass."
i have the doll Big Brother gave me for my first birthday and the stuffed dog my mom gave me when i was 5 and really sick.
i had my tonsils out the week president kennedy was assassinated.
i meet celebrities in odd places: on the subway, at seaworld, waiting for cabs.
i wake up when people die.
i can do every form of needlework but can't knit despite many hours of lessons.
i cannot read my own handwriting sometimes.
i have too many salt and sweet tastebuds and not enough of the others. i rely on 'mouth feel' texture more than taste to determine my enjoyment of a meal.
i dream in more advanced latin than i understand.
i speak french and sign language but only obscenities.
i don't like adverbs, especially 'obviously'. adjectives are an evil necessity which must be controlled so they don't take over the world. obviously.
one of the best gifts i ever got was a swiss army knife.
i have a black thumb. if i get too near plants, they die.
i never learned to 'inhale' and it upsets me that my girls smoke.
i have never taken illegal drugs.
i am addicted to public transportation even if, especially if, it goes nowhere.
i am more afraid of living than dying. much more.
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2 comments:
candoor said...
i relate you you too well not to be your friend.
i almostnever use periods... or superlatives... but i am amused by oxymorons and made-up words that make sense, even if only to me...
i often have convulsations...
i am going to respond to your things-about-you post line by line, if only to determine the accuracy of the first thought in this comment...
my favorite color is purple. especially dark purple.
royal blue, mostly, but purple was the favorite color of everyone i've ever loved deeply, which might scare me if i wasn't amused by fear...
i have NEVER lied about my age. yeah, i know. 49 DOES sound like a lie but its not. i look forward to when i turn 50. 50 sounds real.
i think agism is the most prevalent, unspoken, and accepted of all human prejudice and is based on yet another stupid human fear and rarely (almostnever, even) ask about age, so since i was alive about eighteen years or so, i respond to the how old are you question like this when i think someone really wants to know: my mind this thinks it is four years old, my heart will always be seventeen, my soul is as ageless as time itself (live in a space without time and/or exists without time or space), my spirit is reborn each time i open my eyes (wake), and this fifty-two year old body does it's best to keep up with me...
i carry my passport at all times.
i have never had a passport and feel sad about that when i think about it...
i believe in sparkling lights and fireworks.
i love this and love you for it...
i ride a 21 speed bike but have no idea how to shift. Or why.
i used to love to ride, but have no bike now... i could teach you how to shift, if you want to complicate the experience (or give your legs a break uphills or slow down on downhills)...
i am addicted to motorcycles and LOVE to ride shotgun.
i had a couple in my twenties, don't have a compelling desire for one now, especially not on the road as cars do not see us...
I live behind a kawaskai dealership. coincidence? i don't think so!
k was my favorite brand cuz i loved the name, though i also owned a honda...
when i have the spare time and cash, i AM going to get my motorcycle certs.
i would have to ask myself if i am really ready to take one down again (because it's part of riding, for me)...
my three favorite evening dresses were bought in 1977, 1980 and 1986. black knit, gold/black crystal pleats, black suede. and they still fit.
the SHOES are real and go with each of my three favorite evening dresses, but they knew that before i brought them home.
i lost almost everything a few times in this life, but still have some stuff from childhood in storage in NY and sadly, have not seen the stuff for thirteen years...
i cry when i listen to music.
ditto...
people cry when they hear me sing.
people don't hear me sing, though i love to as it is the second best feeling breathing can be... sometimes the best...
i am a terrible card player, but a very cheerful loser.
i play well, but don't care if i win...
my favorite perfume is STILL obsession. for men and women both.
i have no favorite scent at the moment as i associate people and intimacy with scents and do not have a favorite intimate person at the moment...
i have my first diary. it scared my girls when they read it,to see how screwed up their mom was at the age of 12 or 13. hasn't changed much, unfortunately.
my first writings were thrown out by my adopted mother even though they were hermetically sealed in well labeled boxed in an out of the way corner of the basement when i left home the first time... that scar remains... i still have tens of thousands of pages of writing in boxes in storage and many thousands of pages of writing online...
i have aural ADD and can't process verbally transmitted instructions.
i have the ability to tune someone's voice out while staring at them...
i have OCD and HATE IT when i have to shake hands. or when people breath near me. or touch my arm or shoulder or pat my head or try to give me polite kisses. or maybe its just that i'm from new york. i carry antibacterial waterless hand cleaner.
i got over this, behaviorally, while living on the street, in my car, and in other people's spaces in the late nineties... but the germ-awareness remains...
i wasn't given any painkillers when i birthed my girls. NOT EVEN A FUCKING TYLENOL. not even for my breech birth baby, who is STILL telling the world to "kiss her ass."
i am a wimp then as i was given demerol after 33 hours of waiting for a kidney stone to pass... unfortunately though, i have an obscenely high tolerance for pain and do not believe in pain pills...
i have the doll Big Brother gave me for my first birthday and the stuffed dog my mom gave me when i was 5 and really sick.
i would, if they did not throw all my stuff out...
i had my tonsils out the week president kennedy was assassinated.
i had my tonsils out before then, i was watching some soap opera with my aunt...
i meet celebrities in odd places: on the subway, at seaworld, waiting for cabs.
i met joe pepitone, former ny yankee, at a urinal at friend's bar mitzva... yes, i did get an autograph and yes, it was after he washed his hands...
i wake up when people die.
ditto... in fact, 1977 and 1981 were two of my most awake years due to public people's deaths...
i can do every form of needlework but can't knit despite many hours of lessons.
i don't play with sharp objects much...
i cannot read my own handwriting sometimes.
ditto... that is why i print...
i have too many salt and sweet tastebuds and not enough of the others. i rely on 'mouth feel' texture more than taste to determine my enjoyment of a meal.
texture is essential, but i believe i taste everything, sometimes to my chagrin... i am way too oral for my own good sometimes... probably more than sometimes...
i dream in more advanced latin than i understand.
i love this... i rarely remember dreams (yeah, almostnever)... i like it that way so i don't confuse myself with my waking fantasies... i sleep way too peacefully for most people...
i speak french and sign language but only obscenities.
i know a bit more than obscenities in both languages...
i don't like adverbs, especially 'obviously'. adjectives are an evil necessity which must be controlled so they don't take over the world. obviously.
thank you for this... i love word play and you for it...
one of the best gifts i ever got was a swiss army knife.
i've lost or given away more of these than i can count...
i have a black thumb. if i get too near plants, they die.
i have to focus and concentrate and change my whole lifestyle to help plants grow, but then, i think that is what it takes... i did that during the years i owned a house and was a Vegan... i don't these days...
i never learned to 'inhale' and it upsets me that my girls smoke.
i do not like being around smoke, but can inhale and for a few years in my teens and twenties a smoker...
i have never taken illegal drugs.
in the seventies, i tried just about every drug available (and some not available)...
i am addicted to public transportation even if, especially if, it goes nowhere.
you must join the next mystery train - hours on a train reading parts of a mystery=play trying to solve it...
i am more afraid of living than dying. much more.
i enjoy fear most of the time when i feel it enough to notice it, but mostly i respect it as one of the senses that guide me through this life...
Spill Canvas has a great line that goes something like "don't be so afraid of dying that you forget how to live"
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